Joshua didn't say much. He was too excited about FINALLY losing his first tooth. This thing has been the pain of ALL of our existence for over a week now.
Nathan was a different story. I told him the babies died inside Taylor's tummy. He asked when they would come back to us and I told him they weren't going to come back. He asked why did Jessi's baby get to be born? (Jessi is my sister-in-law) Why did our babies die? We told him we didn't know and he started to cry and said but I prayed really hard because I wanted them. He just sat there and said, "I am just really sad." Then he asked if Jesus was going to get another baby for us. We basically explained that we didn't have the answers to these questions. He said, "Well let's talk about the resurrection. Jesus came back to life so we can too after we die so why can't they all just come back to life and then come here. I want Grandma and Benny (the cat) and Anna and Nora to come back and be with Nathan."
Yes, the tears freely flowed.
We made it through the day with lots of tears and then lots of peace and then tears and then peace. I hate that I remember from losing my mom that this is how it will be for awhile. You are ready to take on the world and then you just want to hide under the covers.
Everyone here in our church family has been reaching out with love and support. They were concerned especially since we don't have any family here so they brought us a meal. It was nice to not have to think about what to feed everyone.
Today I was trying to get blankets out of the closet for a house guest coming and I had to move the huge supply of diapers that I have been collecting. I thought why not I've pulled them all out so I might as well return them. I gathered them up and loaded up the van. The lady at the register laughed and asked if I changed my mind about needing diapers for my baby. :-( Then I realized that I missed some and had to go in a second time. This time I also had a few duplicate items and she said, "Aww, twins?" I had tears in my eyes now and said we aren't having twins anymore. I didn't want it to be awkward for her but the tears and the words just slipped out.
The boys were hungry so I thought Chick Fil A is always a treat. It is except for when the lady right next to you has adorable baby girls in matching outfits.
Back home to safely hide and cry and feel peace but without the world watching.
We did receive three dozen roses with the most wonderful note attached. I put all three roses in separate vases and I am honoring my beautiful friend Taylor and the wonderful girls I miss so terribly.
We tried to play games together and just enjoy being us.
We made it through the day with lots of tears and then lots of peace and then tears and then peace. I hate that I remember from losing my mom that this is how it will be for awhile. You are ready to take on the world and then you just want to hide under the covers.
Everyone here in our church family has been reaching out with love and support. They were concerned especially since we don't have any family here so they brought us a meal. It was nice to not have to think about what to feed everyone.
Today I was trying to get blankets out of the closet for a house guest coming and I had to move the huge supply of diapers that I have been collecting. I thought why not I've pulled them all out so I might as well return them. I gathered them up and loaded up the van. The lady at the register laughed and asked if I changed my mind about needing diapers for my baby. :-( Then I realized that I missed some and had to go in a second time. This time I also had a few duplicate items and she said, "Aww, twins?" I had tears in my eyes now and said we aren't having twins anymore. I didn't want it to be awkward for her but the tears and the words just slipped out.
The boys were hungry so I thought Chick Fil A is always a treat. It is except for when the lady right next to you has adorable baby girls in matching outfits.
Back home to safely hide and cry and feel peace but without the world watching.
We did receive three dozen roses with the most wonderful note attached. I put all three roses in separate vases and I am honoring my beautiful friend Taylor and the wonderful girls I miss so terribly.
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