The Turek Family: July 2016

Thursday, July 21, 2016

Keeping it Real

I want to put on "paper" a few thoughts from my run this morning. It is going to be a little scattered but do your best to stay with me. First, I started off thinking of how I am going to the doctor in a few weeks (that was the earliest appointment.) I think my thyroid is off and my PCOS symptoms seem to be a little worse than my normal. I avoid these visits because I've never had much positive come from them but I am desperate for a little help. Plus, I am curious as to what my numbers are these days. The last round of clomid (fertility med) left my body in quite the state. That was 3 months ago and I was hoping everything would sort itself out. Anyway, I was thinking about this appointment and how awesome it would be if one time a doctor would just say man that sucks and this isn't your fault let's do x, y, z and fix this. Instead, I always get
you are running too much, you are not exercising enough,
you are eating a when you should be eating b,
are you sure you aren't eating too little/too much
now that I have you second guessing everything all day make sure you aren't thinking about "it" that can cause stress
stress is bad that can also impact your hormones
Yeah, it would be awesome to go and not be made to feel at fault.

So, you see I was feeling a little moody. I have been feeling depressed the last two weeks. Depression is something we never discuss. It is another one of those sicknesses that we sweep under the rug. Nasty rashes, infections, stomach bugs, or colds we share like crazy but internal sicknesses should be kept inside. WEIRD! So, I won't worry you all instead I will say that I have sprung a leak from my eyes the last two weeks over things that normally wouldn't bother me. I attribute this again to the fact that I have every other symptom on the thyroid list. Thus, this week I decided I better lace up the tennis shoes and start running again. I needed the endorphin boost. I haven't been running as often for two reasons first being this last round of fertility the doctor encouraged me to cool my heels some as too much running can lower fertility and then after that it was just so blazing hot and humid that I decided to take some time off from the running. I still was going occasionally not to mislead you. Okay, so back to my run,

Running. No music playing today just the crazy thoughts in my head to fuel me. Thought about doctor visit. Pace increased. Thought about mood this week wanted to cry. Didn't. Pace increased. Thought about the fact that in 10 years of marriage I've had one pregnancy. Thought about how miserable I was the entire time but at the same time I never imagined I wouldn't be doing that horrible experience again. If I had I might would have viewed it differently. Pace decreased and eyes sprang a leak. Thought about how I am truly blessed with my two and don't really care if we aren't having anymore even though in my heart I still feel like there is one more out there for us. So I do care but I try my best to say I don't care. We trust in His plan. I have had enough experience to reflect to see that His plan was always best so we will be patient in this wait. Thought about all the pregnant people I know and how I have had moments of jealousy again but then quickly remember that their blessing didn't take away from my blessing. It isn't mine to have right now. I AM OK WITH THAT. Felt the acne on my face as I wiped away sweat and remembered that I am ok with no baby but wish that all these other symptoms would go away....Glanced down and noticed the rounded gut going on right now. Man, did I mention that PCOS and/or thyroid problems stink?!

Then I thought about how I am a Beachbody Coach and how I workout 6 days a week no matter what. I thought about how I mentioned to my mother in law how embarrassing it was that I am a coach yet do not feel that my body matches my efforts some weeks. She kindly said imagine if you didn't. Hmm, I hadn't really thought about that. I simply saw that I didn't have the results I would like not what it could be like. Good point. Thanks, Mom.

This thought led me again to the path of gratitude. I am strong. I am running. (Pace increased) As the sadness tried to creep in I could have succumbed but instead I am out here in 100% humidity running. I signed up last night to do an 8k with a group of runners and riders. I have become acquainted with a family here that has two children with spina bifida and they will be participating in the race. Chastened and grateful. Inner voice began preaching- Vanessa, you are running! You just finished another 8 week program called insanity max 30. You can do and have done hard things. You have so much. God is good to you in your tremendous blessings. You have two beautiful healthy, happy children. Your needs are met. Most of your wants are met. You may not have perfect balanced hormones. So what if you eat a cookie and a piece of toast with peanut butter and you gain 7 pounds? Life will continue. I own pants ranging in size from 4 to 8 for these problems. It's all good. Life is good. Life is good even when things seem to not be ideal. Hold on, look up, and know that you are loved, cared for and provided for so just wait to see what is coming next.

Run complete.

Monday, July 18, 2016

Mid July Report

We kicked July off with a few celebrations for the 4th. The kids got a kick out of our meal of hotdogs and hamburger. The cake was delicious and it was fun as both boys insisted they hated hamburgers!

We went to a fun celebration on the air force base on Saturday.

It was so hot but finally began to cool off and the firework finale was in sight. 20 minutes before the big show Matt got a call to come to the hospital. This was his first weekend working on call at a civilian hospital in town. We were too optimistic and had only one car. So, we took two boys from the base crying to drop Matt off and they missed the big show. Of course, they were quickly comforted by the fact that we would take them on Monday to see fireworks so they would get two nights of staying out late. That left me to be the only one crying! ;-)

Monday morning we went to a friend's home. Rachel and I made red, white, and blue muffins with strawberries, blueberries, and white chocolate chips.

Trampoline fun with the sprinkler at the friend's house.

Storytime- Nathan kept climbing on top of Joshua and pinning him down. They are about the same size. Joshua finally had enough and bit Nathan! We were shocked as this is NOT Joshua behavior. When we asked him why he bit Nathan he wouldn't speak so I put him in time out at the friend's house. Well, I admit I forgot about him. I was visiting with friends and totally forgot. When I finally remembered I apologized to Joshua for leaving him in there a long time. He simply said he appreciated the time because he had been praying in his head the whole time and asking forgiveness. This kid is too much! How do you raise a kid that really raises himself?

That afternoon we went to a cookout!

That night Joshua was convinced he wanted to shoot off some fireworks of our own.

My cautious kid hated it just like I knew he would...

Matt forced him to try out sprinklers but he was already traumatized...

He says next year will be better because now he knows what it is like.

We bought a membership to the local children's museum which includes a weekly class. Nathan loved it! He struggled the last time we tried it out but has grown up! Yay and boo all at the same time!

Nani, PopPop, and Kiki came back for a quick weekend visit. We were glad to have them!

Joshua's glasses came in and he now has to wear them all of the time.

We love Chick-Fil-A and we love it especially when its free!

Nathan loves to keep me on my toes. He goes from rash to rash but this staph infection threw me off. Thankful for Dr. T for the diagnosis.

This sweet friend and her family stopped by to see us on their return to Texas from Disney World. It really made me "homesick" for our last home. Texas will always hold a special place.

Joshua fulfilled his dream of wanting to learn to play golf. He participated in a week long clinic. He loved it; he mainly loved it because he was good.