Hard Work Isn't Always Enough

I write on this blog mainly to share my children with my family since none live close and also to be able to share with my children someday my memories of them.  However, I also know that this is my history too.  I always record the rainbows but sometimes it is necessary to also remember the storms.

I have been struggling with my weight forever but sometimes it is more discouraging and depressing than others.  I am a little over 20 pounds heavier than I was 3 years ago.  That is upsetting.  I celebrate my friends when they join the healthy train and see success.  I truly am happy for them.  However, it is still hard when people say, "I deserve this; my hard work has paid off."  You see I haven't missed more than a day or two in three years of strenuous exercise.  I work out 6 days a week.  I never fail in this endeavor ever.  Food is my battle.  I have tried the carb free approach, the balanced approach, the shake replacement, etc.  I have gone with the mentality that I am eating too few calories with instant weight gain and I have gone with the eat very little approach. Obviously, if you eat little you will lose weight but this isn't a lifestyle I want to keep.  Ultimately, I just want to be healthy but lets be honest if you put in the time and the discipline you also want to look good in your clothes.  Right?  Currently, I am out of funds and energy to try the next miracle so no suggestions please friends.

I know that my weight gains are largely hormone imbalance related.  However, unless you are just an open and shut thyroid case there isn't much to be done about it.  I have seasons where my body works and seasons where it doesn't.  It is frustrating.  It is all linked together to my infertility and my now new acne problem.  Right now, I am in a season where my body is simply fighting me.  Last week, in spite of my dedicated workout plan and no change in my diet I gained 7 pounds in a week.  7 pounds?!  Yes, that is upsetting.  This weekend I said forget it.  I am just going to be a normal person and exercise lightly and eat a treat or two.  Hello, 3 more pounds.  "Fat jeans, where are you?"

I have a choice to make.  I can quit because I have tried it all and I have had no success or I can remember that this too shall pass.  It is better to continue with healthy habits because they are healthy and good no matter the outcome.  Sometimes, hard work isn't enough to get the results you want because there are simply things in life we can't control.  However, hard work is enough to say to yourself I did endure through that storm.  I continued to do what needed to be done even if life didn't seem fair.  That is a message worth recording.  I am not thrilled that this season of life will also be recorded in family pictures this weekend because we all know a picture is worth a thousand words.  It is what it is though.

 I have a lot to be grateful for and I don't want this to come across as all gloom and doom.  Trust me I know there are a lot worse trials in the world.  My body could be betraying me in much more serious ways.  I am grateful for a body that can run and exercise.  I am grateful for my health.  Mostly, I am grateful that when I have times of feeling disappointed or upset I have always been able with the help of a loving Heavenly Father pick myself up and dust myself off.   So, let me get up and get to work.  Hard work will have to be enough for now.