First Real Adoption Conversation

We plan to be completely open with Nathan about his adoption.  We hope to maintain relationships with the birth family as well.  However, this is a new experience for all of us so we are figuring it out as we go.

Today, Joshua was playing with a yo-yo that he got at Christmas time.  He randomly asks me who gave him the yo-yo.  I told him that it came in a package from Ms. J, Mr. J, Ms. J, and Ms. J.  I don't know if that's what he should call everyone...remember I'm new here.  Yes, all the names do start with J.  That is one of the reasons Nathan has a middle name that starts with a J.  Of course, I told Joshua the actual names but for the sake of blogging it wasn't important to list.  Anyway, he says I don't know who that is Mom.  Well I have a book that was sent with pictures of them all during the pregnancy, at the hospital, and a week after.  We sat down and took a look.  Joshua started with questions I didn't quite expect yet.

Joshua Question: Where is Nathan?
My Answer: He is growing inside of Ms. J tummy.
Joshua Response: That's cool that she can do that.  I grew in your tummy, right Mom?  

Joshua Question:  Who is this?

My Answer:  We went through every person and all that I knew about each one.  We laughed at them playing in the water and all having fun.

Joshua Question:  What's happening here at the hospital?

My Answer:  Nathan is getting ready to come out of her tummy.

Joshua Response: This is great.  I was ready for him to be done in there.

Joshua Question:  What do these words say?  

My Answer:  It says the wonderful nurses were taking care of Nathan.

Joshua Response:  Well they were only a little bit good because they made him cry.

Joshua Question:  Why is she making a sad face?  (In reference to birth mom's sister while holding Nathan)

My Answer:  She was getting ready to give us Nathan so she was sad.

Joshua Response:  That is sad.  I understand she is going to miss him just like I miss all of our family in SC. 

Joshua Question:  If he grew in her tummy and they were sad then why did they give him to our family?

My response:  (No words....I didn't know what to say yet to this. So, I did what I did as a teacher turn it back into a question.)

Joshua's Answer:  Oh, that's easy.  I know because they knew I would miss him.  I love him.  That's why.  

My Response:  (A little choked up by this innocent and tender conversation) You are exactly right.  I am so glad I have you and Nathan.  

Joshua: Yep, so I love them too.  She did a good job growing Nathan.  

My Response: Yes she did buddy.

Satisfied, he gets up and goes back to playing with his yo-yo.