Leaving the Hospital

Monday and Tuesday were exhausting days.  We didn't really have a homebase and were torn between being at the hospital hallways waiting for feedings and a three year old that really wanted to be with family playing AND with us especially his baby brother.  Wednesday morning we took off for the hospital with butterflies fluttering since this was the day papers were to be signed.  We were hanging out in our lobby spot when our birthmother came walking by to go down the elevator.  She told us the papers had been signed.  She said that she knew it was right and she had complete peace with her decision.  There couldn't have been better words for me to hear.  She cried and we hugged.  Then we were still waiting for our turn with the caseworker and the birthgrandma walked by.  She hugged us both and told us she loved us and was very happy as well.  However, this was said through tears and she told us how much her heart hurts.  I was filled with happiness that Nathan is really ours but also with a sadness to feel like you are the source of pain.  Adoption is such a road of mixed emotions.  The greatest pain for some provides the greatest joy for others.  As the adoptive mother you feel this intense responsibility to do best by everyone. 

We finally had our turn to meet and sign some papers.  We decided to call the nursery and see if we could see him yet.  Plus, I needed to tell him the great news.  ;-)  We also wanted to hear the plan for the day as we were told to anticipate a late afternoon discharge from the hospital.  Matt and I thought maybe we would go to lunch and celebrate the news while mentally preparing to take this little guy home.  We were going to be parents of a newborn again!  AHHHH!  Well we called back there and were told to come on back.  We hugged on our little one and they start bringing us his stuff.  They are discharging us now!  WOAH!  WAIT!  We aren't ready.  We both kind of thought we needed to puke. 

Fake confident smile for the nursery staff

 Then the caseworker walked us to the lobby and off we went with me sporting my new baby k'tan. We didn't have the carseat inside because we weren't anticipating taking anyone out yet.  :-)

 Strapped in and let the driving 5 mph under the speed limit begin.  For some reason, that first drive out of the parking lot requires extra caution. 

 He needed two coming home outfits since he wore one home from the hospital to my parents house and then since he is a newborn he was dirty and needed a new outfit before we drove to Matt's parents house. 

Wednesday was a very surreal day!  We have had a wonderful couple of days with everyone holding and loving on our boys.  Friday all the paperwork was already finalized and we are approved to travel back to Texas.  Matt has left us so he can get back to work.  We are waiting a few more days.  Nathan is going to go to his 1 week check up here and we will fly on Wednesday.  It is great to be here but it will also be great to really take our new one home home from the hospital.