May Celebrations and Updates on our Girls' Birthmom

May started out intense.  Our birth mother, Taylor and I have become close friends.  She and I were text messaging about life and last I heard she was soon to be home and had a full day on Tuesday.  She was meeting with the attorney in regards to adoption stuff and she had a check up at the OB.  I didn't bother her all day because I knew she had those appointments.  Instead I took Nathan to play group.  

I took Nathan on an adventure with playgroup today. I did my hair and make up before we went because I didn't really plan on getting that wet. Nathan asked me to please go and play with him and I decided why not?! My mascara dripped down my face and my hair had  to be re-washed. Nathan told me that I was his best best best friend and we had the best times together. That made it totally worth it!

Decided he didn't want a nap before we needed to pick up Joshua from school.

Tuesday evening my world was rocked.  Taylor's twin sister called me from a restricted number but I just knew it was something important.  I had never spoken with her but she sounds just like Taylor.  I knew something was wrong and listened and sobbed as I heard that my friend had been rushed to the hospital around 4 am and hadn't been at any appointments as she was unresponsive and in the icu.  I spoke with her sister for two hours as her sister made the journey to the hospital.  We laughed and cried together.  I knew she would be busy and promised me updates as soon as she had them.

Wednesday I had some little friends over which is always the best cure for anxious waiting.  They will keep your heart full and your mind busy.  Plus, their mommy picked them up and left behind chocolate and a book to escape into.  It was the perfect plan.

Finally, around noon I got the first update.  It was in an email that completely had me sobbing.  It expressed their fears that this was the end.  We all know that she doesn't have forever but we all envisioned the rest of the year.  She talked about Taylor squeezing her hand though when they told her she had to be strong for Anna and Nora.  (Yes, that is officially their names.)  We were pretty sure but that story locked it in.  We ended that emotional day with so many unanswered questions.  

Joshua had a birthday party that evening for a friend.  Matt took over because I was a wreck.

Nathan finally took a nap by Thursday which was good because we weren't going to survive each other without one.  He loves his spiderman blanket even though I always find his feet or half of his body sticking out.

We continued the week with no change.  Taylor changed hospitals.  She continued to have a high fever, she was diagnosed with pneumonia, she remained sedated and intubated,  Taylor's family continued to advocate for Taylor and the twins but no one was listening. 

Friday, I was beginning to falter in strength.  I asked about flying to California but with Taylor in the ICU and me technically not family I couldn't yell at anyone to do something for Taylor or for my girls anymore than the people already there.  

Joshua went to school with these Pickachu treats in honor of his Sunday birthday.  Nani and PopPop arrived mid morning on Friday.  We picked him up early from school and went to the Air Force Base.

Matt's Dad was able to administer the oath of office.

Mom and I both pinned on his new rank.

Nathan was excited that we could finally eat cake!!!

Nani took care of that detail for me and brought cake from Publix.  Yummy!  It had blue frosting.  Can you tell?

Afterwards, we went to eat seafood on the beach followed by wandering through a tourist store with the fun shark head.

Joshua thought all of the shark posing was hilarious and really needed to go to the bathroom.

After a fun trip in the store, Amazon had left us the second attempt at a white dresser for the girls. 

Saturday, was our 11th anniversary.  This picture was from the day before but we never took one on Saturday.  We celebrated by going on a youth temple trip.  (Hey, I'm married to the bishop.)  It was the perfect place to be and we didn't drive any kids so we had 5 hours in the car alone to just visit.  When we left the temple, I had text messages waiting on me from Taylor's sister informing me that there had been a telemed meeting with the doctor's at the current hospital and the doctor's back home.  There were about 10 different specialties invited but not the OB!  It was also emphasized that they should really consider aborting.  I lost it and cried (again).  She is 26 weeks along.  Taylor wants these girls to be born.  She has sacrificed and suffered excruciating pain without taking her medications because she wants healthy girls.  Stop disregarding my daughters' lives.  Taylor's fever continued to rage and her sister had been yelling at everyone that would listen to take out the PICC and the Port.  She had been on antibiotics for the pneumonia for several days and the fever was worse.  No one seemed to care.

Saturday, while we were gone Nani and PopPop had a grand time with the boys.  They went to the trampoline park, the splashpad, and more.  The boys never suffer when they are in charge! 

That evening we didn't need an evening alone to celebrate our anniversary we needed support.  Rachel babysat and we took the parent's out on a date with us.  We had the best time ever!  We laughed, we talked about Taylor and the girls, we ate, we shopped, and I put my phone down for awhile.  It was perfect.

Sunday was Joshua's 7th birthday!  This boy is my oldest and he taught me about a different type of love.  The love you feel as a mother is indescribable.  I am grateful for the healthy, tender, thoughtful, and intelligent son that Joshua is for our family.

Modeling my FREE Lularoe dress that my friend Kristi won for me.

PopPop and Joshua put together an airplane.

We opened gifts.  Joshua wants the world to know that we took the training wheels off of the bike but it just came this way and he wanted a picture right away.  

It wasn't really a party...It just had Pokemon decorations, pizza, cake, and one friend over.  

Looking innocent before I blasted children.

Nathan enjoying his graduation to Joshua's old bike.

It was a fun time had by all.  Sunday we went fasting and praying for the girls and for Taylor.  This is how that prayer was answered.  Sunday right before I left for church I received a message from the sister saying that Taylor's fever had lowered.  Wow, I thought that was a quick answer to my prayer.  Sunday during the meetings I introduced myself to a visiting family.  They had 4 children.  Two boys followed by identical twin girls.  The girls were two years old and the boys' ages in that family would line up with my boys ages when our girls are two.  Call me silly but seeing that family gave me peace and the thought that you will have your twins, Vanessa.  I enjoyed church and felt like things were looking up.  Immediately as I walk out of the church doors I get a message saying that the sister had actually not been at the hospital but had just been informed of the lower fever.  That actually the fever had spiked and that the new lower number was taken as Taylor was wrapped in ice packs in a desperate attempt to lower the fever.  I was saddened.  I am fasting and praying.  Please give us this miracle.  Please.  My father-in-law pointed out that I received three hours of peace.  True.  Then later that night a new doctor came in and was assigned.  He was VERY CONCERNED by the high fever that she had spiked to and agreed that the PICC and the Port should come out.  That was taken care of Sunday night.  Today, Taylor is back in her ICU room but her fever has come down a touch.  They are looking into if the infection went into her bloodstream or not to determine what else needs to be done.  They confirmed that the PICC wasa the source.  Taylor is still intubated and sedated.  We all miss her but Matt pointed out that she has had a week off of worry and pain.  She is in pain all of the time as she endures this pregnancy.  The girls' have still received zero observation in this week long nightmare but they are all hopeful that this will change soon.  The new doctor will either take care of it or Taylor will be well enough to be transferred back to her home care team.  

I received so many messages from friends and family saying they were praying for us, for Taylor, and for the girls.  I have felt them and I have felt comfort.  I know that Taylor received better treatment as a result of prayer.